A local children's author has again come up short in his efforts to out-sell best-selling author JK Rowling--or any other best-selling author.
The unidentified man originally set his sights on retiring to a beach in Tahiti, but after his first book was published, he modified his goal to buying a DeLorean for his son. His current goal is to avoid defaulting on his mortgage.
JK Rowling was unavailable for comment, citing poor Internet connectivity in Tahiti.
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Photos from Christmases Past
Market Movers
Todd's parents, Bill & Dorothy Tarpley of Durango, Colorado are currently driving cross-country in their convertible Porsche. No, seriously.
Jen's parents, Lynn and Carol Kemp of Prophetstown, Illinois, did something very similar, except it was a Buick sedan and it was only to the doctor's office in Sterling.
Jennifer's sister Julie and family of Prophetstown, Illinois considered visiting Dollywood this year but decided ten hours was too long a drive. They will not be driving cross-country any time soon.
Todd's brother Brad and family of Durango, Colorado are celebrating the upcoming wedding of their second daughter, Mary, "the perfect but anal one."
Todd's sister April and family of Woodland Hills, California continue to embrace earthquakes, mudslides, brush fires, and a political party led by Donald Trump.
Todd's sister April and family of Woodland Hills, California continue to embrace earthquakes, mudslides, brush fires, and a political party led by Donald Trump.
Inside Sections
Lifestyle: Middle-aged couple becoming more cantankerous, say neighbors
Business: New study confirms that 95% of start-ups that Todd joins fail.
Health: "Life begins at 50," said no one, ever.