After pushing their son to the brink of exhaustion over the past year studying for SATs, visiting a dozen campuses, poring over essays, then getting accepted early-decision to the college of his choice, a local couple was surprised to discover they had absolutely no plan to pay for it.
"We just figured it was like retirement," said the wife, "where when your child reaches college age, boom, money just shows up in your checking account." The husband agreed: "That's the way it was when we went to college."
When informed that retirement doesn't work that way either, the couple seemed dismayed. "Well, crap. Then that's gonna be a problem too."
Their son could not be reached for comment, as he was busy applying to CUNY.
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Photos from Christmases Past
Market Movers
Todd's parents, Bill & Dorothy Tarpley of Durango, Colorado are currently driving cross-country in their convertible Porsche. No, seriously.
Jen's parents, Lynn and Carol Kemp of Prophetstown, Illinois, did something very similar, except it was a Buick sedan and it was only to the doctor's office in Sterling.
Jennifer's sister Julie and family of Prophetstown, Illinois considered visiting Dollywood this year but decided ten hours was too long a drive. They will not be driving cross-country any time soon.
Todd's brother Brad and family of Durango, Colorado are celebrating the upcoming wedding of their second daughter, Mary, "the perfect but anal one."
Todd's sister April and family of Woodland Hills, California continue to embrace earthquakes, mudslides, brush fires, and a political party led by Donald Trump.
Todd's sister April and family of Woodland Hills, California continue to embrace earthquakes, mudslides, brush fires, and a political party led by Donald Trump.
Inside Sections
Lifestyle: Middle-aged couple becoming more cantankerous, say neighbors
Business: New study confirms that 95% of start-ups that Todd joins fail.
Health: "Life begins at 50," said no one, ever.